it doesnt come so easily

i am so frustrated. as a singer I should be blessed with the ability to write lyrics or atleast compose a piece for myself. but of course that turns out to be completely false. I can't stand the fact that some people who are completely gifted with words deny everything when people who would truly appreciate it are left in the dust. are these people deserving? i honestly don't know. and another thing, WHY DO PEOPLE ASK STUPID QUESTIONS???!?!?!? Shouldn't people just mind their own business when it comes to other people's lives? w/e. i really do want to write a few songs though. atleast then people can say that I write original pieces. even if its not the music it has to be the lyrics. something.... something. SOMETHING! its like i have all this miscellaneous talent in really random areas that isn't anything fabulous. its just "oh yeah. liadan's pretty good at a lot of things". there is never any "OMG LIADAN IS AMAZING AT SUCH AND SUCH". and that also leads me to the fact that everyone thinks i am such a complainer and what on earth would i have to complain about. well lets count it, im NOT a straight A student, im fat, im absolutely not athletic, im not pretty, i can't wear the clothes i want, i havent been a lead in the school plays yet, and i am too loud and obnoxious. i think that shows that i have plenty to complain about. People really take advantage of their lives. i freaking HATE the way I am. if i could trade bodies with someone I'd totally do it. yeah, and i know all this shit because of like self-respect and crap, but thats exactly what it is. CRAP!!!!! IT IS A BUNCH OF BULLSHIT! and im fucking freezing my ASS off....

stressed, cold, and fucking annoyed,
Liadan